Alive? Be thankful.

So, this weekend was an interesting one. It started on Thursday, really, when I found out that my good friend Matt's grandmother passed away. I wanted to go to the funeral, but it ended up not working out. I sent flowers and my deepest condolences. Last night mom told me that one of me good friends growing up lost her mother on Friday to a freak heart attack. Just goes to show that you never know what's going to happen.


Another ending... Millie closed this weekend amid tears and laughter. Sunday's closing performance was probably one of the best shows in the entire run. There's nothing quite like the nervous excitement of opening night, but closing night is a unique mixture of desperation, sadness and relief. In every show there is a love-hate relationship with one or more elements of the production. Whether it's the director, costumes, fellow actors, set, etc. there is always someone, somewhere complaining about something. On closing night, all of these griefs are cast aside to make way for last minute pictures, bonding and a last ditch effort to throw oneself into their role with such gusto that has not been present since opening night (if at all).

It seems as though we take not only our lives for granted, but many things within them as well. Even though we know everything will come to an end, we don't realize how much we take for granted. Closing night of a show is a perfect example.

The cast has rehearsed for months with plenty of time for character development and exploration and yet, some sit on their haunches and go through the motions, not planning on "acting" until opening night. The show runs for 3 months and they figure "I've got time". Inevitably, closing week comes and there is a sudden rush of desire for character development and "adding" to the show... Too little too late. The classic mourning of a show encased in "why didn't I think of this 5 months ago?" can also be applied to some lives.

We all know we're going to die but, unlike in a show, we have no idea when our final curtain will fall. Until then, don't put off the things that you really want to accomplish, don't hesitate to tell those around you that you love them and, for heaven's sake, use your good china not just on "special" occasions.

Find something special about today.

After all, what are we waiting for?

Harvey!

Here is Harvey, all healed and beautiful!

When the cat's away...

Lame. Lame Lame.

I haven't blogged in 10 days?!

I guess nothing has really been happening. Well, nothing earth shattering, anyway. This weekend, I performed in Millie again. I wasn't Mrs. Meers again, though (bummer). Saturday and Sunday I played the part of Miss Flannery. She is the exec secretary of one of the other characters. It's a relatively small part, as she only appears in 2 scenes in the entire show, but I did have a vocal solo and a tap solo.

Now, you may be saying to yourself, hey! I didn't know Michelle knew how to tap! Sweet!

In which case, I would say to you; I don't.

Seriously. I haven't tapped since I was 3 in CA... Even then, I think I just liked wearing noisy shoes and didn't really learn anything. So, I had the lucky stress of learning a tap routine, including a solo. Yay! It took me a week or so to really get it down, and although I messed a bit up on Saturday night, it went nearly flawlessly on Sunday afternoon.

This is the last week of Millie, thank goodness! I can't wait to have night free for the first time in who knows how long! I mean, up until now I've had days free, which I prefer, to be honest. But, now that I'm working days and nights... it sucks my life out.

That's my new phrase, by the way. Sucks my life out. Feel free to use it liberally.

Other than that... it's life as usual. My friend Josh might be coming to visit next week. Grease opens at Riverside next Friday. We're under a flood warning. I bought new shoes from Sarah Jessica Parker's clothing line, "Bitten". I got my eyebrows waxed Saturday. I updated my resume to include Mrs Meers. I've read every current event article on both the Discovery Channel and National Geographic websites.

Oh!! That reminds me! I'm completely addicted to the dumbest, silliest, coolest game ever. It's called the McDonalds game (just google it). Basically, you're responsible for the upkeep of the Mickey D's co. You have to grow the soy, raise cattle, hire workers, feed the masses and keep the big guys happy without going bankrupt. It's hilarious.

Check it out... you know you want to :o)

I'll be playing it between phone calls and leases.

Celt War pictures!

In the first link, if you go to page 9, picture #127, Curren is the guy in red on the left. Now you can pick him out in the crowd shots :o)

I'm in a couple shots here and there, but it's mostly the guys fighting.

Enjoy!

http://ursus.smugmug.com/gallery/4661123_t5LAU#275291746


http://lilkender.smugmug.com/gallery/4650926_T92in#P-1-15

Shoes...

I'm wearing real shoes today!

Yesterday I took a bunch of clothes I was getting rid of to a consignment shop called Plato's Closet. They bought a bunch of stuff from me, and I used part of that money to buy a super cute pair of patent leather gray pumps for work. They were brand new - still with the tags on and no marks on the soles! - for $6. Can't beat that price with a stick!

The other nice thing is that they're relatively low cut on the sides so they don't rub my tattoo. Yay!

That's all :o)

I got inked!!

Ok, this color is a fib because I'm not wearing purple shoes today... I'm wearing the same gold sandals I've been wearing for a couple days now because...

I got my tattoo last week! I completely meant to blog about it sooner, but I was just a teensy bit preoccupied... agreed?

So, here's the way it all went down...

A month and a half ago or so, I decided to get my tattoo. I knew I wanted a turtle on my foot, but I didn't know which exact design I wanted. So, I went online and printed up a couple pictures of Green Sea Turtles (I knew I wanted that particular species, remember?) and took them to Curren's good friend Sean, the artist we picked for the job. I explained exactly what I wanted, and told him to be creative with the rest. He said he'd have a drawing in about a week.

So, a week later, we went back and I looked at what he'd drawn up, told him what I liked and didn't like and he said to give him another week on it. When we went back the next week, it was exactly what I wanted. Better still, it's a completely original design that no body in the whole world has. Yay! He'd also drawn Curren's wheel of war that he was getting on his right shoulder.

So, we made appointments for the next Tuesday... and waited...

Finally Tuesday came!

Now, I'll be honest. I had no idea how I was going to react to this whole thing. My two biggest fears were throwing up and fainting (in that order). Sean assured me that if I vomited, he had a trash can for me and if I fainted they'd catch me (Curren was there too, having just gotten his wheel of war before me).

I was slightly reassured, and approached the whole thing with a smile and a laugh... until he turned the needle on. I'll tell you, that is the worst sound I've ever heard! It's like the dentist drill x 1.000.000.000!!!

The first time the needle went in, it hurt. Duh. He started out by outlining the whole design, but by the time I got "used to" that pain, he added 2 more needles in the instrument to do the coloring in... Ow. The top of my foot was bearable but, I'll tell you, when he got down to the side of my foot near the sole it hurt like mad! Poor Curren had no blood flow in his hand by the time Sean had finished that flipper. The whole thing was over in about 35-40 min. It felt like it went a lot faster, thank goodness!

So, it's been healing for a week now, and it's run the gamut from being totally bruised and swollen (which is why I didn't do Millie Thursday... I was icing the foot) to being scabbed, and now the scab is flaking off. Yay! I've been extra nice to it, keeping a healing ointment on it, keeping it covered with plastic and elevated when I sleep. Pretty soon I'll be back to wearing normal shoes! It should be completely healed in about a week,a t which point I have to remember to always put sunscreen on it (luckily my lotion is already SPF 28) and keep it moisturized well.

If you're wondering, I'm still glad I did it :o)

Here's a picture of it Tuesday night, about 4 hours after I had it done... I'll take another picture when it's totally healed so you can see the detail!

In the hopes of ridding myself of some of the drama...

This morning, I received this email from the (now) director of AMS:


Good Morning All,

Hope to see everyone at the space as close to 6:30 as possible. I should be arriving at just about 6 if I'm successful in my quest to convince Michelle to forgive me for my (almost) unforgivable gape-fest during our little flurry of reorganization. In case any of you are unaware, in my desperate attempt to improve the cast I may have lost one of our precious assets when I tried to move Michelle into a more substantial role based on my very positive impression of her spot-on - Lydia. A precious asset in Michelle and a second precious asset in a GREAT Lydia.

So, in pursuit of bringing our friend and colleague back into the fold for everybody's benefit, I have just crossed the Rappahannock on the Route 1 bridge. I am on my hands and knees with my tongue pressed firmly to the pavement (even if
I have to pass over one of those flat things that still have a little fur on them). I will crawl all the way to Michelle's house and beg her (I may have to use a pen and paper) to come back. We all know what a big and forgiving heart beats within Michelle. I can only hope that, somehow, through witnessing this display of rank debasement and complete servitude/humiliation, I-am-lower-than-low-throw-me

-out-with-Kate's-potatoes-garbage, ------ she will see how sincerely sorry I am and realize that old, bald tenors can make horrrrrible errors in judgement and sometimes need a little tenderness to make it to the curtain. Just like everybody else. Boy, I hope this works. And I should have left after rush hour. Even with tongue to pavement, it's stop and go 'til Aquia.
Keller
ps - hey, did any of you guys read in the Free Lance Star that a bunch of Hollywood producers were going to be in town in May? It was in the Style section right under the article about Bernadette Peters and how she got her start playing Lydia in AMS.


This was my carefully constructed reply:


Good afternoon,
I'm sure everyone has had their fair share of confusion in the last few days, myself included. I was very sorry to hear Laura had been asked to step down from her role as Ann, but excited that I was being given the chance to make my own attempt at fleshing out the role.

I accepted the role Wednesday night.

Thursday night, (having just gotten a tattoo Tuesday night) I called out of Millie to stay home and rest my foot and learn my lines. I got a phone call from John asking if I was going to be at the theater that night and when I said no, the phone was handed to Todd, who asked me the same question. He got the same answer and proceeded to say that "we" were wanting to do some readings at the theater. I said I was completely available and to let me know if I was needed at the theater. I was assured of a return phone call if I was needed.

I was never called. Naturally, I assumed no readings were taking place and I , therefore, wasn't needed.

Friday, I arrived at the theater for my shift and, through normal conversation, learned that Thursday night an impromptu "audition" had been held and the role of Ann was given to Kate. Surely, had an "audition" happened, I would have been called in to read (for what I thought was already my part). Puzzled by what I thought was misinformation, I sent a text to John. He replied by saying he thought I knew what had happened. I was supposed to have received a phone call from Brian informing me that I was no longer playing Ann, but was, in fact, playing the part of Sue. Needless to say, I was never informed of this decision. I'd only agreed to continue playing Lydia or take on the role of Ann, depending on the decision that was made concerning Laura.
John and I had a nice long chat Friday night in which I expressed my disappointment at the entire situation, my annoyance at being tossed around and my being very upset that all of this was done, in my opinion, behind my back. I felt (feel) very taken advantage of.

Now, some or all of this reiteration of events may be familiar to most of you, but I felt the need to put everyone on the same page with my side of the events. I'm not trying to lay blame on anyone, mind you. I am merely trying to illustrate the events that lead up to my decision to respectfully bow out of the production, either as Lydia or Sue.
Please know that this decision was not easy to make. Though there were some frustrations before these events, I was enjoying this production, the cast and Lydia. This was not a decision based on emotion or friendship; it was a decision based on professionalism and this unfortunate turn of events. I realize people make mistakes, and I harbor no resentment or anger towards those involved in the decision making process. I understand what they went through to make some of the decisions, and I commend their willingness to forge ahead. I am disappointed, however, in the lack of communication, professionalism and honesty that was displayed over the course of these somewhat unnecessary events.

I accept and appreciate all apologies and explanations that have been extended to me. Now, please accept my resignation from any/all roles in this production. Thank you.

I look very forward to seeing all of you on opening night!

Speaking from my professional side, I remain
Respectfully yours,
Michelle



It was with a heavy heart that I made the decision, but it had to be done, I feel.

Waiter? I'll take an order of the eggs "Benedict Arnold" with extra stress on the side. Thanks.

Things have gotten way out of hand since my last post in nearly every facet of my life...

Thursday night, I was at home learning lines from my newly acquired role of Ann in AMS (I'd called out of my Millie duties to rest my foot from Tuesdays needlepoint) when I got a phone call from John (the new director) asking if I was going to be at the theater. I said no, I was currently at home resting Harvey (that's what I decided to name my tattoo. More later). He put Todd on the phone, who also asked me if I was going to be at the theater because they wanted to do an AMS reading. I gave the same answer, but said that I was just icing my foot and could show up at the theater if they needed me. They said they'd call back and let me know.

...They never called.

Friday I arrived at the theater, set up my tables for dinner, got dressed... the usual. Then, one of the girls asked me what was going on with AMS. I told her a brief version of what unfolded Tues and Wed. When I mentioned that I was now the role of Ann, another girl turned to me and said, wait, I thought Kate was playing Ann...? We spoke for a min and it was nearly confirmed that Kate was indeed playing Ann. It seems that while I was home Thursday night an impromptu audition was held for Kate to read (I thought for the role of Sue, which is what she was being considered for) and she was then cast in the role of Ann... excuse me?

So, I got on my Huffy bike, left the dressing room and texted John. He said the stage manager was supposed to call me to inform me of the change... Do you see anything wrong with the situation? I'll help you:

#1 They booted a girl out of a role with no prior notice.
#2 They (once again) cast the role without an audition (me).
#3 They decided to hold an audition (behind my back) with someone who wasn't even originally considered for the role... I smell deception...

John asked me to consider the role of Sue. I said I'd think about it.

I called John after the show Friday night and we had a nice chat. Well, it was more an annoyed barrage of questions (me) vs a harried apologetic non-explanation of the situation (him). He took all and none of the blame at the same time. I explained that I was very hurt and frustrated with the whole situation and I'd have to really think about whether or not I still wanted to be involved with this production. Never in my life have I encountered such turncoat backstabbing "frenemies" (friends who are sometimes enemies) as I have with this show.

As much as I want to be involved with a show, this show, I don't know if I possess the good nature to go back into it smiling. Having known myself all my life, I will harbor a slight bit of resentment over the face that I was moved from a role I enjoyed into a role I believed I deserved and then back into the role I enjoyed, having had no chance to prove that I deserved either role in the first place. (Auditions for this show were never held, remember? They just cast people willy nilly, hoping they'd be right for the part. Mistake.)

So, John and I left the conversation at the fact that I needed the night to sleep on the situation and decide what my answer would be. Little did I know AMS would never cross my mind Saturday...

I woke up Saturday, happy to have my first free Saturday morning/afternoon since July. I was all geared up to clean my tragic mess of a room, do my laundry... That is, until I received a phone call from Carole, our production manager. It went something like this:

Carole: Hey, Michelle. Deborah threw her back out last night. (Side note: Deborah plays the second female lead, Mrs. Meers, in Thoroughly Modern Millie... big big role)
Me: Ok...
C: and her understudy is in Florida until Sunday night.
M: uh huh...
C: I need you to play the part. Can you do it?
M: ?!?!?!?!?!??!? ...Sure.

This was at 11am... I had 7 hours to learn a leading role in a major musical. A role I knew virtually nothing about. A role I paid no attention to. A role I never thought I'd play. A role I'm a good 20 years too young for. A role I know had to know well enough to perform for a Saturday night audience of over 200... looks like I'm not going to be doing any laundry. *siiiigh*

Well, I busted my hump and learned the role. Luckily, I had in my possession the script and a tape of the final dress rehearsal. I went to a friend's house for the accompaniment cd's and spent the day learning lines, songs and blocking.

That evening I went to the theater 3 hours early. I taped parts of the script onto the set where Mrs. Meers spends most of her time. You see, she runs a low end motel for aspiring actresses with little money. A actress herself (turned con), she poses as a Chinese woman (dressed like a Geisha... so not PC, I know) and runs a white slavery operation, selling her orphaned tenants to "Buddha". They are shipped to Hong Kong and forced to work as street walkers. All that to say, she spends most of her time behind the front desk of the hotel. I cleverly taped my lines into the hotel register on the desk to have handy just in case my brain failed me, for some reason, after 7 hours of rigorous study. *phew*

For the most part, the show went really well. I flipped the verses on my song around, but (I'm hoping no one in the audience knew the show verbatim) I played it off well and was pretty safe. A couple of line flubs here and there, but I nailed I'd say 85% of the show really well. I also found out that night that I was going in for the Sunday matinée... On top of all this, my 7 hours of study, an evening's performance and tons of stress left me with a strained voice.

Fantastic.

I woke up Sunday morning with a little more confidence but a a lot less voice. I prayed a lot, drank hot water with honey and lemon, went through half a bag of throat lozenges and prayed some more. Luckily, my froggy squeak of a voice worked well for the character. I was able to use the squeaky bit for the lines I delivered in a Chinese accent, and the froggy bass was good for when I dropped the accent and spoke in my character's actual voice. The songs I had to sing are deep in the alto range, so that was another blessing.

Aunt Wendy and Uncle Matt came to see me perform on Sunday and really enjoyed the show. I was just hoping for a nearly seamless transition from Deborah to me for the sake of the rest of the cast. They were wonderful, by the by. Everyone was on point, ready to catch me if I fell, and cover lines if I dropped them. I didn't drop entire lines, luckily, only a few words here and there, but I was covered by my fellow actors and it all worked out very well.

All in all, it was a very stressful, nerve racking, exciting, confusing, rewarding weekend.

Thank goodness it's over!

Waiter? I'll have the drama please, but can I have the guilt and sobbing on the side? Thanks.

So... I don't even know where to start... This week has been interesting to say the least...

As you know, I'm doing a community theater production of Arthur Miller's "All My Sons". I'm playing Lydia, a secondary role written more for comedic relief than anything. She's really fun to play; not a whole lot of lines or depth, really a no brainer role.

Let me take a moment to lay out the cast so you'll know who I'm talking about...

Mel: director
Barbara: his wife, playing the lead role "Kate (mother)"
Laura: playing the other female lead, "Ann"
Heather: secondary female lead, "Sue"
Myself: "Lydia"
John: Male lead "Keller (father)"
Todd: Second male lead, "Chris"

Now, John has been in several productions of AMS, both as an actor and director. Mel, not being a very proactive director, let John express his opinion during rehearsal, which ended up being a bad thing. After 4 weeks of rehearsal, the show isn't entirely blocked yet. (Blocking is stage movement). If you're not appalled, you should be. Usually blocking takes 3 rehearsals, not 4 weeks. Granted, we've only been rehearsing 2 days a week (act appalled again). Really, these last 4 weeks have been a complete waste of everyones time and I was frustrated enough to call out of rehearsal last Monday night (something I never do) because I couldn't stand being in the room, wasting my time, knowing I'd sit there pretty much all night and do hardly anything. (I was pretty tired from camping, anyway...) I'm not the only one, either. Some members of the cast have become increasingly frustrated, either with Mel or their fellow actors.

Well, Tuesday night, I got a phone call from John telling me that Mel quit because of "artistic differences". John is now, unwillingly, the director of this beast and had some changes in mind.

Originally John (being the producer) had a cast list in mind, but other people went around him and cast who they wanted. Heather (Sue) was originally set for the role of Kate and I was originally considered for the role of Ann (neither of which happened, obviously).

Well, when Mel resigned on Tuesday, I was told that Barbara basically gave John an out to take her out of the show. She asked if she was "still needed" and our stage manager, Brian, was told to inform her, thank you, but no. So, Barbara is out and now Heather is going to step up and perform the role she deserves.

Laura was a whole other kettle of fish. John spoke with me about stepping into the role and (while my head shouted "I want it!!!") I told him that I would perform either role he needed me to perform (knowing that he'd originally cast Laura and I opposite of what we are; she as Lydia and myself in the role of Ann). As far as what went down, all I really know is that Brian, John and Todd all spoke with her at different times Wednesday evening, and she was very unwilling to step down from the role (in a hysterical sobbing, begging sort of way that is rather embarrassing for everyone involved). I was informed later in the evening that rehearsal was canceled and the role of Ann was mine, if I was still willing to accept it. I spoke with both John and Todd about it for a long time; they both agreed that I was better suited for the role. I left the decision to them, saying again that I would happily perform either role.

So, I have accepted the role of Ann. It was a really rough night, a tough decision to make for the guys but when the dust settles, I think the show will be in a much better place than what it was. Of course, we are increasing the rehearsal load to 4 days a week, Sunday thru Wed, which means I now work 10 days a week, with my only time off being Saturday morning and afternoon (I'm still working as a leasing consultant m-f 830-5 and Millie is still in production Wed thru Sun.)

Now, all that is left is to fill the roles of Sue and Lydia, re-block the entire show, build the set, find costumes, design and print playbills... We open May 8... oy.

Good times.