Merry Christmas!

This post is a request from my mother. I sent her this survey in an email and she asked for it here...

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Paper for most things and bags for the awkward shaped ones like lamps and monkeys

2. Real tree or artificial? Fake trees are against my religion.

3. When do you put up your tree? As soon as the Christmas season starts. Mid October, of course.

4. When do you take the tree down? When it's ready to be firewood. In July.

5. Do you like eggnog? You mean do I like drinking snot? I'll pass.

6. Favorite gift received as a child? My fake glasses. I freaking loved those things. Mission in life: be a huge nerd.

7. Do you have a nativity scene? Yup. It has short fat people with squinty eyes and hands that look like mittens. I'm guessing Joseph gained some sympathy weight.

8. Hardest person to buy for? Mom. Too bad she's not shallow... it would make my life soo much easier.

9. Easiest person to buy for? Me. So, about that shallow thing...

10. Worst Christmas gift ever received? My period. Thanks, Goddess of Irony.

11. Mail or email Christmas card? None! Save paper! Save money! Save time! No hand cramps! No obligatory letters to your 4th cousin's next door neighbor's mother because she baked you cookies in the 2nd grade! Happiness for all!

12. Favorite Christmas Movie? Polar Express!

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? When do I stop shopping is the real question. Never is the answer.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Is it normal to receive recyclable material as a gift? If that's the case, I've got everyone taken care of thanks to that little green bin in the garage. Who likes yogurt cups?

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Mushroom and onion pirogi and schledge. I know I spelled it wrong, mom. Stop laughing.

16. Clear lights or colored on the tree? White on the tree. Put the ugly colored lights outside where I don't have to look at them... but the neighbors do. hehe

17. Favorite Christmas song? Most of them. Except Feliz Navidad. That freaking song drives me bonkers.

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? I'll be at home. Someone else's.

19. Can you name Santa's reindeer? Duh.

20. Do you have an Angel on top or a star? My tree will wear a yamaka. I like to be pc. Don't want to offend the commercialism... i mean JOY of the season. After all, Jesus was a Jew. Mazeltov.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year? When people say happy holidays. The woman in target said that to me and i asked her "which one?". She looked at me a little funny.

23. Do you decorate the outside of your home? Sure. I mean, my dad does. He pretty much rocks at it.

24. What is the furthest away that you mail gifts? The fatherland. Not my fatherland. Someone else's.

25. Do you have traditions that have been handed down? Yes, and none of them involve eggnog, praise be.